Brain Droppings

i am such an effing slacker hahahaaaa

2009-06-13T07:30:50Z

and here is irrefutable proof >.<
idk the last time i actually posted in here. so ah, let's seeeeeee based on my default pic, it was before i took my hair atomic pink. so yeh, here's a current piccy of me. (the pink has slightly faded. i gotta redo it....)

ummmmm what else, i am still at target, but that is changing very soon. August at the latest. the place is going to hell since they started remodeling to turn us into a super target. seems we arent making the sales to support putting people in softlines, so there's about 3 of us on any given night closing. this is like effing mission impossible in itself. and then hardlines pitches a fit when they have to come over. fuck you guys!
Plus, they've decided fitting room can handle the phone calls. again, WTF people?! it's hard enough trying to keep track of the fuckers who try to rip us off, now we're gonna be distracted with calls? we may as well hand these people bags and say load up. free clothes... meeeeeeeh

aaand, tonight could have been ALOT suckier, had Brandi not been on with me. i effing love her. we got off on the weirdest rants involving the worst way to die which ended in me bringing up sir gutless' story from haunted by chuck palahniuk cuz she mentioned drowning in a pool.....
also, Papito was on. and yeeeees i still crush on him. kinda. sorta. in a way. hahahahhaaaa i mean given the chance to hook up with him, i'd go for it without a second thought. judge me if you will, but whatevs... he continued to be in rare form with me tonight, (see also uber flirty and touchy feely close and stuffs)

it started on tuesday night when i commented in passing i liked his hair. when i went to clock out for break he was there waiting to clock in and he goes, you really like it? i said yeeeeah i think it's cute, and he he was like psssh and kinda playfully hitting at me.... anywayz tonight started when i was all on the floor in shoes trying to fix the hell known as the flip flop wall, and he called me, not once, not twice, but three times as he walked by b/c i didnt answer. Brandi was looking like what the hell?! and we laughed it off. then later on around 8 or so, i was helping brandi fold tables in RTW and he comes out of nowhere behind me and he's leaning all up against me. completely killed my train of thought and speaks with Brandi, and when he was walking off i asked if he was on break, he goes yeah, and i said i'll come out and bug you. he's like you should!

so i did., i went out for my one and only cig, and he wasnt out yet, but when he came out he like screamed my name, looking for me, and goes, you can't smoke there (new rule we arent allowed to smoke by the door. becaaaaaause our boss Helen, is a bitch and doesnt like walking through the smoke.....) he was like come on you gotta smoke over here really close to me. and i go ooooor i could just go sit on my car. to which he got all defensive like, but then you'll be really far. you gotta stay here. with me. we ended up talking about completely random shite til yannick came out and goes she's watching me, and said i need to quit smoking. Papito starts on , i keep telling her, and i got after him, saying he's totally a bad influence on me. to which he goes, he's a good boy. and soon as i started to say if he's a good boy i'm a good grrl he goes, don't even... no you're not. you're bad. and naughty and a bunch of other stuffs. aaand amongst all that were talking bout our hair, and how i need to redo mine, he asked what color, i said idk yet. he says he likes the pink, soooo um yeah, keeping the pink for now. besides i may have to do away with it when i get my new job and constant coloring isnt good. really, its not like i'm keeping it for him or anyfink.... yeah. kiiiiiiinda leaning towards thinking he may like me just a liiiiil bit. hahaaaaaaaa and he was totally whistling tonight. havent heard him do that in OMG for-ever. sadly, i dont work with him again until next saturday night.... :(

and this is what i look like when i go to work. i am *such* a dolly XD

this is sposed to make up for them fucking me royally. in every way imaginable

2009-05-08T02:44:48Z

IMG_3731, originally uploaded by painter chickie.

they also gave me an $.18 raise. yes. 18 cents. FML!

thank you card from work... effing bastards....

2009-05-08T02:43:40Z

IMG_3729, originally uploaded by painter chickie.

the necklace

2008-12-09T15:51:01Z

the necklace, originally uploaded by painter chickie.

Annabelle

2008-12-09T15:50:36Z

Annabelle, originally uploaded by painter chickie.

Photo 498

2008-11-22T01:35:40Z

Photo 498, originally uploaded by painter chickie.

finally, a loooooong over due update....

2008-10-28T02:55:53Z

I've been working. a lot.... and trying to paint. (a lot. and succeeding at pretty well for the most part) which pretty much means what lil free time i have left is not spent playing on online...

i don't have many earth shattering updates, i'm still crushing on Papito and have no idea how to actually go about telling him i like him. retarded i know, esp since all signs point to him liking me too... [sigh]
and the one chick i work with, Cherry, is out indefinitely b/c she needs surgery. i'm a bit foggy on all the details but general synopsis is while she's out they need someone to pick up her position, which is table specialist (for those who don't know what the eff that means.... when you go into a clothing store and you see all those pretty tables of folded clothes and jeans, well it's her job to set up and keep track of all that merchandise) aaaand my boss, Penny is recommending me... so i'll end up doing mainly morning shifts and once or twice a month i get to go in at 6 am on sunday to help set the ad....
this has def positives and negatives...
it means they have no intention of getting rid of me, or chopping my hours which is awesome, and day hours are so much better than closing, but i won't get to see papito when i do that which is the biggest negative of all... idk....

and in just pointless rambling of the night, the cutest thing yesterday was when some lil boy asked me why i had a belt around my neck (my black leather choker collar) his mother called him a silly goose and said it's her necklace... he goes noooo it's a belt! and the mom took off to look at a nearby rack of clothes and the boy just kept staring at me... i said it *is* a belt, and isn't it cute??? and he blushed and goes, yeeeeah [awwww]

def highlight of my day would be the fact i actually did talk to papito a fair amt and ended with him saying he'd be my stalker (lead up: Penny asked if i could stay a lil longer to help them out. i said sure and took a final break at 6 pm with Aisha. he saw me and goes, what is this, your 4th break??? and i said what, you're tracking how many breaks i take now??? and he said something, and i said i'm gonna call you a stalker now. and he said he'd be my stalker...) to which i responded, well at least my stalker's cute.

hehe and it was also really like awwww when Joe goes, he still has my lighter, and it's crazy b/c it's the longest he's ever had a lighter he's constantly losing them, but each time he thinks he loses this one he finds it again. i just said it's special cuz it's my lighter and that's why he hasnt lost it....
Pretty much everyone who talks to Papito is being nicer to me (well guy peoples anyway....)
anyway, it's late i need some ZZZZ's

What Your Cute Monster Says About You

You are a simply happy person. You still view the world with a childlike innocence.

You have an easy going attitude, and you value harmony. You love freely and inspire others to love.

You inner demon is frailty. You are easily beaten down by life.

People think you're cute because you are optimistic. Your outlook on life is charming.

The Cute Monster Test

i feel a bit like this as of late.

2008-09-27T03:20:09Z

Girl Anachronism
The dresden dolls

actual entry and update, (probably) tomorrow when i get home from work.

kids, one. adults, zero.

2008-09-01T17:21:15Z

It was soooo cute last night. I had to cover jewelry while Donna went on break, and there was the sweetest lil girl (bout 7 or 8 gingerbrown hair, freckled face and the most infectious smile you've ever seen) with her mom looking at the cheapy adult rings (the ones that go for like $10) they wanted to see 2 rings. the first was on the playful side with the silver swirling up in the front, and the other had cubic zirconia chips around it. daughter puts on the silver swirly one and it's a lil big. mom calls her on it and she goes 'noooo it's not on all the way', and jams it down far as it'll go 'seeee it fits!' I said, all you have to do is take a bit of medical tape and wrap it around the inside. it'll fit her perfectly fine. lil girl goes YEAHHHH that's what [insert name i didnt catch] said to do too!
next she tries on the zirconia one same deal on size, but mom says no b/c it looks like there's tiny diamond chips around it. I told the girl, i'd pick the swirly one over the zirconia one any day. mom says they'd be back and wandered off. about 20 minutes later we ended up crossing paths again and the mother kinda side-glanced me and daughter just grinned at me from from ear to ear.

Score one for kids! every single kid wants an adult to take their side, and it so rarely occurs. I did it without even realizing, it wasnt til after it hit me i completely undermined the mom hahahahahahaaha

when you take the good things away, you're left with a pointless sucky void

2008-08-25T21:33:01Z

♥my crush is slowly dissipating into a very confuzzling lil annoyance
♥John has left to go back to college
♥Michelle is transferring over to the Millville store, (yes i said you follow me around like a lil puppy, but everybody likes puppies & christ on a tricycle look at the chickies i'm left with when you go)
♥and i'm not doing anything remotely creative, even though i REALLY want to. it's just that by the time i get done shift, the last thing i feel like doing is painting....
suddenly random chats with strangers and interesting exchanges with coworkers isn't worth the $8 an hour anymore....

i like to call the following my 'adopt a painter chickie program'. it was actually created way back when, in regards to my magician. so, let's call this
adopt a painter chickie v2.0

Bohemian slacker painter chickie in need of a new home and enriching environment. are you the right person?

won't you take me home?.

needs: coffee, cigarettes, and a nice spot to curl up and sleep

can offer: soul enriching and mind expanding beyond your wildest dreams. a reconnection with joys long forgotten, random acts of artistical beauty and pretty pictures (while you sleep if you enjoy a nice surprise when you wake up, or while you're awake if you like to watch).

tainted innocence. the name of my new hair color experiment (much love, Yurii)

2008-08-09T02:37:59Z

Soooo i was having an uber hard decision on whether to keep my tresses red or go back to black. A few of my friends said do both! haaaa i got some smart friends. yes i dooooo.

This lead to the fun lil experience of dividing and coloring my hair using the following:
Garnier blue-black dye
Splat Luscious raspberries temp hair paint
SPlat Blue Envy temp hair paint

and I am quite proud to say the only weird hair staining incident is a tiny streak of blue on my scalp (YAY! when i went completely red for the first time pretty much my entire scalp got dyed). Here are the results:

awwwwwww

2008-08-08T08:39:40Z

haaaa we had no team lead last night at work, which basically meant everyone going nuts and worrying whether we'd get everything done (and taking really quick breaks to ensure we did) and me taking extra long breaks b/c i wasnt worried. i knew what it was gonna take to finish up... my lunch wasnt particularly long, but when i got back in donna (the nearest thing we had to a lead) and Jean the woman that covers fitting room, were having a lovely convo about me. which pissed me off and lead to the fuck this attitude and eventually how my 15 min. break turned into a near half hour one......

but first things first, i guess.
I have come to the realization, my interest in Papito is lil more than a very basic physical one. The guy is incredibly cute, and he manages to make me smile/blush/giggle..... but when it comes down to it, well, i have no interest in his brain... and we dont have that much to talk about.... and i came to this realization as i was sitting outside talking to my coworker John on my 15 min. break. His shift ended at 8, and when he came out he asked if i had an extra cig. which i did and gladly shared with him. I was on the phone at first when Scott (skeevy janitor guy) was telling John hes gonna set him up with this girl he knows. and John's going on, dude [pointing to me] that's my girlfriend. don't be talking like that. this lead scott to going on if, it's your g/f why isnt she saying anything..
John- She's on the phone she's not gonna be rude...
i got off the phone and said yeah, he's my boyfriend, he pipes in we've been dating for a month and a half, (since he started there)

long story short, we ended up talking for almost half an hour. i was headed back in on time when i asked if he wanted another cig before i left. he goes, 'only if you'll smoke with me' i said fine, and that's when i found out his shift ended at 8, and i said so why the fuck are you still here?
-so i could talk to you.
awwww! and then there was the lovely g'bye hug. and i was pretty much on top of the world after that. he stayed. half an hour AFTER his shift, just to talk to MEEEE!
anyway, i got in major shit for my disappearing act/long break. but whatevs. it was the rest of the night when pepito got flirty,
i realized.
i just want to feel him.... taste him........
and i don't know how i feel about that.....
John on the other hand, well i wouldnt mind another chat and hug hahahaha

something's gotta give.

2008-08-06T09:15:15Z

no muse
no inspiration.
no desire to create.
no direction
no ambition
no art.
no sleep.
no love(r)
no phone
shit job.
shit people surrounding me.

obviously, somethings gotta give soon. can't help but wonder what.....
hoping it's the lack of love(r) one. ahahahahaha
though, according to lisa, my carnival is a bit wonky so probably the lack of art is gonna give first....

first wonky carnivals: actually if you ask any one of my friends they'll tell you basically i'm attracted to jerkoffs and relationships that have little chance of going anywhere. commitment scares the bjesus outta me, and simple acts of caring are viewed as uberclingyness.
I retort with, i've yet to meet the right person. the one who doesnt try to impress me with skillz or knowledge or randomness. the one that simply exists as they are.....no smoke, no mirrors, no illusions, no apologies Which is where the attraction to jerkoffs and assholes come into play. and gameplaying is fun in short doses....
and Paul, the guy who chatted me up for over 2 hours a couple weeks back while i was at work is the complete opposite of everything i just said, and i only called him back b/c he said i wouldnt.(and truth be told i wasnt going too)
but i digress, to others i flaked on what could have probably been the beginning of a wonderfully nice, safe, vanilla relationship with a down to earth sweet as can be non-game playing, nerdy guy... [see also the dream of many a girl i know] = jebus christ help i'm suffocating to lil ol me... it's not that i want nonstop mind games/mixed signals but i cannot stand neverending voicemails in which he's going back over everything he said to me to make sure i didnt misunderstand him. or calling me at 7pm when i told him i'd call after my shift ended at 6pm, to make sure i was ok, and that it was in fact me who was supposed to call him, and not him call me....
i. just. don't. like. that. if i say i'll call when my shift ends that means i will call you sometime before sunrise the next day.
i never give anything someone says a second thought until they try and backpedal. and i sure as hell can't stand someone adding just kidding after almost every sentence in which they think they've offended me on some fucking level. as in call me so i know you got home safe, or at least dream of me... just kidding, you dont have too; (when i had to pick my bro up at the train station in the middle of the night)...
subtle versions of dude, fucking chill and back off did no good and only lead to more txts of if you knew me, you'd know this is what i meant.... and one very long e-mail in which he tried to convince me of all his amazing qualities and that he can't think of one person who regrets knowing/being with him....
this was met with one very short and notso subtle response on every single way he fucked up his chances of knowing me on every level.....

Meanwhile i am completely attracted to one mindfuck by the name of Johnny Eye and another who hides behind a mask of cockiness... both will lead to heart ache of some kind. and i can't help but wonder if my complete and utter avoidance of nice, good, guys, is some defense mechanism b/c i'm scared of trusting and being happy and then facing the constantly looming possibility of heart break. with aforementioned asses i know what i'm getting into and can prepare myself....

eeeeehhhhhhhh toooo deep of thoughts moving on.

My lack of art is seriously starting to drag me down now. It's been months since i actually did anything remotely creative. i mean sit and put out some weird piece that could only be a byproduct of my mind. I dont know what it is. all the pieces of insomnia bouts of random depression and happiness, over caffienation are all here, they're just not piecing together like they once did. and i'm beginning to get a lil scared i wont get it back... i know it's like riding a bike, you never forget how to do it, but you can fall back several stages... not long ago i was riding my bike with no handlebars, and i'm worried if i go on much longer like this i'll be back to holding them with a death grip as i shakily make my way down at 1 mph or..... (it late my analogies suck. so shoot me....)

and lack of direction and ambition, well i know where i want to end up and i have a vague understanding of how to get there. i just dont know how the fuck to get started... i am however slowly discovering all the ways that dont work.....

and last and pretty much least for the moment, i need to once and for all soonish figure out what is what with Papito before he makes the switch to working overnight at target....I told him last night i'd miss him like mad if he does switch and i will. dude is like the sole highlight of my day...
ahhhh fuck me. i better try and catch a few hours of sleep so i resemble the near living for work tonight

update on last post

2008-08-06T03:48:01Z

Yeeeeaaah no matter how i spin it, and believe me i've been working on it for most of the waking hours since he did told me, I cannot justify traveling to eastern state to play a zombie outside of the obvious fun factor.... Granted i dont know if i'd even get a position, i gotta think the shit through a bit.... worst part is, he brought it up again tonight, (b/c i hadnt said anything to him about going for it)
there's still a week or so before the auditions, so maybe something will change...

MmmmMMMmmm brainz

2008-08-03T18:25:40Z

Johnny Eye, my favorite mindfuck of the moment, sent me a message that Eastern Sate is holding auditions to find this season's Zombies for their terror behind the walls. ("you get paid to scare ppl & act a fool...... AWESOME!!!!!!!!")
I will be skipping work, hopping a train, and (possibly)a bus to see if i can play the living dead for a month.

updates soon.

glitter-graphics.com

backhanded compliment of the day award goes to.......

2008-08-02T18:15:19Z

Papito haaaaaaa (yes my uber cutie crush boy)

so i went out to smoke on my break and he goes, you look *really* familiar.....
um went into work looking semi decent yesterday as opposed to the utter shite i usually look like? or sumfin.... yeahhhhhhhh not too sure how to take that statement.....

and now i gotta go get ready for work... :(

it's cliche and retarded til it happens to yoooo ;P

2008-08-01T01:29:06Z

So, tonight was one of those sucky ass nights where everything that could go wrong did!
work started off on the lovely note of having to cover fitting room while Michelle went on her lunch break. Mmmmkay for those who've never done retail fitting room is the next worst thing to do next to cashiering. People suck and they're mean and get uberpissy when you tell them they can only take 6 things back at a time...
Sooo, this chihuahua on steroids of a woman comes back with a ton of clothes. she goes to run in back and i tell her you can only take 6 things back
[insert hairball hacking sound here] so what do i do with the rest?
-leave them on the bench
you mean i have to come back out HERE to get 6 more?
-yeah
[once again insert hairball with kind of an elvis sneer only mean]
[10 minutes later]
can you get me these things in the next smaller size?
-no
[hairball] what do you mean no? you mean to tell me there is nobody here who can get me these clothes in a smaller size?
-no. i cant leave to get you clothes
what about HER? can't SHE do it? (she being Michelle who had just come back to ask if i'd mind covering a few more min. while she picked up our reshop)
-no. we dont do that. (by now i was getting really pissed b/c she kept harping on it and saying there is NOBODY you can call) so i said in as polite a way as possible:is it *really* gonna kill you to have to go grab the clothes yourself?
she grudgingly says no and scurries back in the fitting room to try on more clothes....
[5 minutes later] she comes out. I want to talk to your supervisor....
I look at Cassandra(coworker) and ask her, Penny? (our boss) she asks the woman, our supervisor or the supervisor of the store. She pretty much yells the STORE.
she then flips on Pete (my supervisor) saying i gave her attitude and refused to get her new clothes etc.. he goes dont worry i'll handle it. he's walking over to Michelle and me with a lil smirk on his face and i said I didnt give her attitude. told me not to worry about it. that's not the point. I dont like meeean people OR getting reported....

then i found out the screen on my cellphone cracked... I don't know how, but it did. so while the phone is still very usable i cant txt anyone. well I mean theoretically i could, but blind txting seems like a pretty bad idea..... Erm, this could be a blessing in disguise of sorts given the fact i was gonna end up txting John again (John is a guy I know over in Philly.he's nothing more, nothing less) but since we've been talking the guy Papito (his name is brigtman and he hates it with a PASSION lol) who i'm crushing on, but at the same time i get the feeling he likes me toooo has been getting really cold and distant... giving me a hard time about John being my boyfriend and shit. he pulled it again last night. but i wasnt in the mood at all, and i said seriously, we gotta get one thing straight, John is NOT my boyfriend. There is a guy i like, but it's not him. this lead into a quick game of 20 questions on him trying to figure out who it is i like... but the cliche part of it all, was while i was telling him about John my lighter wouldnt work. and he in the most oh so cheesy move ever, lit my cigarette for me. and as cliche, cheesy etc move it is, it's beyond sweet, cute etc when it happens to you.
and after that he picked back up with the serenading my name to me when he saw me and shit... so um yeah, that was the one highlight of my otherwise crappy night. haaaaa

philosophical ramblings. equal parts pure crap and true genius. brought to you by my insomnia

2008-07-30T08:47:24Z

There will never be an authorized anything of me.
Fuck digital cameraz and a million retakes, fuck the written word and so called truths....
I will live on in peoples memories alone,
Any photos that exist will either be long distance snapshots by strange people in bushes at the most inopportune times. Or pics in which I've inadvertantly shown up in the background of someone elses otherwise perfect shot. it's these piccys which show you for what you are.
smirks
and sneers
side glances
and longing looks of desire....
the crinkling of your nose
or peek of a crooked tooth...
y'know the imperfections and feelings you try your damndest to hide,
the very things that make you uniquely you.
The very things people alwayz see,
the very things they end up falling in love with...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From an IM i found myself in the other night.... (rambling is me, the 'C' was the answer to my rambling hahaha)

is it us?
or them?
or some weird combo?
-C
it's like we're all actively seeking out our mental mind fuck counterparts, because they're the ones who take us to the highest highs but they also drop us to unimaginable depths.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The past has already happened and you can't change it.
The future is incredibly uncertain. i've learned that fact 10 fold in my life...
so, today, tonight, whatever it is where you are, for just a few short seconds, go back to the mindset of what it was like when you were a kid before someone instilled fear into you and turned your lil bitty brain into a steel trap for pain.... when the greatest thrill you got was from simply running up and kissing the boy you liked because your friends dared you to... when you'd wear cowboy boots, a tutu and a tiara everywhere you went because it made you feel pretty.... just doing whatever it was your lil heart desired and you never gave anything a second thought. and you didnt even think about the consequences when your parent was towering over you yelling.... you'd nod and throw in a sorry here or there, but once they shut up and you went along you forgot everything you heard til the next time you got in trouble
a never ending vicious cycle of annoyance and frustration for them indeed,
but a wonderful utopia for you...

But see, somewhere along the lines things get all friggy....
as adults we hold onto the bad bits and forget the good ones.
we let irrational fears of every caliber hold us back from even the simplest forms of joy.
that's a fucked up way to live people!
and no amt of pills or doctors or anything else in this world is gonna set you straight. You have to do it. YOU have to try and get back to the childlike mentality......
A select few of us never lose it entirely and believe me we're all the greater for it... Granted my tiara and cowboy boots have been replaced with kneehigh platforms and a gas mask but the point is still the same....
Just try it...
for once in your adult life, don't think about what someone is gonna think of you...
go climb a tree,
lay in the grass and watch the clouds go by
play around and kiss the boy/girl you like....
take off and don't come home til the middle of the night all covered in dirt with bumps and bruises laughing hysterically. LIVE in every sense of the word. forget the rules and the accepted norm.
Once you get that small taste of freedom again, you'll never want to let it go.... see, what so few realize is, is the delirious happiness of childhood is entirely possible and within your grasp just go for it..... and believe me, it's a million times more fun now then it was then... because now you truly appreciate it ....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only thing worse than death is stagnation in life and never evolving..... when you feel you've reached the pinnacle of perfection in knowing who you are and feel there is no room left to grow, well... it may be time for this [insert piccy done by John Ireland of foot hanging over edge of highrise balcony with land here and an X written on the ground]
for those utterly confuzzled by what the insert here piccy is (and i know at least one or 2 of you are) once you stop evolving. it's time for you to leave. exit, die. off yourself........

Anyolhoo my sleep schedule is completely and utterly fucked! thanks to my current working arrangement, i get home around 11:30 pm and get my second wind around midnight. this means i dont pass out until sunrise... wake up around 10am and by the time i've become something remotely resembling human i am off to work again....
All the while my brain is pulling triple duty on the creative front and getting jumbled in on itself, so my free moments are spent untangling rather than getting out kickarse ideas... I'm not particularly worried because sleep is for the weak. I have coffee! and soon enough those waking moments will be spent with strange artistic fucks haaa ...

short term plan is getting a place over in philly with my bro
from there
ANYWHERE, EVERYWHERE for lil periods of time....

Strangely enough a few tell me i'm setting myself up for failure. to them I say.
good. bring it. and i shall beat it to death with my paint brush...

They feel it's retarded to go to philly to do my art b/c there's sooo many people doing it there it'll be really hard to get anywhere. I'm better off here where there's no competition. I simply agree with them b/c arguing is pointless and on top of that i gotta work with the fuckers everyday. truth be told though, being surrounded by other creative weirdos is the secret to success.
At it's best there is constant flow of new ideas and thought processes and just plain old random acts of artistical beauty.
And at it's worst there is the need to improve your skills. if for no other reason than to show up some jerk off (you know damn fucking well it's true)
either way working on your own, you get crunchy and stale. You get set in your ways, and never evolve... and well i already covered what should happen next in this case in my philosophical ranting of the day....

she's ALIVE!

2008-07-30T07:51:27Z

haaaaa i'm still around and kickin even though it's been AGES since i've posted anything in here. I think i need to start again... My mind is all kinds of jumbled up which isn't doing my art or anything else a damn bit of good. I guess, first and foremost some updates are in order..... and then i'll post some of my philosophical ramblings from over on myspace.....

Ah, lets seeeeee....
I been working over at Target for almost 3 months now !!!!!! yeah scary thought i know. Job itself sucks monkey balls, but my coworkers are pretty awesome. (oh yeah i never told you guys that... well I got a job at target. i needed cash like BAD and i was in there with my friend, figured what the hey, put an app in, had to do the interview right then. ended up getting hired.) how i pulled it off is beyond me, b/c i was so not dressed for an interview hahahaha. I went in bumming it in my baggy camo cargo pants, hair all messy pulled up, like no makeup, big ass sunglasses, and the best part of the ensemble, my handcuffs hahahaha. Yeaahhhh i was yanking those fuckers off my wrist as i walked in back... but i pulled off all 3 interviews, and have been there pulling double duty working on the floor and on registers....)

I also got my first 2 tattys in as many months. One of my very first checks from target went to getting my back inked with my nickyname and artistical insignia (cyanide kitten with a gas mask girly crossed paint and airbrush behind her) that was back in May...

Then last month, i hit up the Atlantic City Drawin the wild card tatty con; where i waited over 6 hours to get inked by Christian Masot of Silk City Tattoo.
The story there goes, I went in armed with this lady luck pinup girly i designed. No idea who i wanted to do it, or if i'd even leave inked that night. In fact i wasnt expecting too much since i took my work clothes with me... sO i was wandering through talking to the artists and asking them if they could ink me, how much would it be, etc... each time saying ehhhh i'll be back around in a few. Then i saw this uber cute guy sitting on the floor prepping some guy's leg, and as i was flipping through his portfolio he asked me a few times if he could help me, if i had any questions. I finally showed him my girly and asked if he could do it, he said he'd love to, but it'd be a while since he just started this guy. (like 4 hour wait....which ended up turning into a 6 hour wait... which meant i wasnt going into work haaaaa) but i loved christians new school styles and he loves challenging himself, so i walked out freshly inked with an amazing new-old school style piece. Sadly he's a 3 hour drive away from me, which makes visiting his shop really hard, but um yeah it's a minor inconvenience i will have to suffer seeing as how he's gonna end up doing my entire left arm. It's gonna be a luck sleeve. and we were already discussing it before he finished my grrl. It was then i knew i found my artist for the time being. we were finishing one anothers thoughts and ah i loved it!

the only other noteworthy news is, I managed to get my hair a beyootiful shade of cherry red =D
it's a pain in the tuchas to maintain, but soooo very worth it for me. I dye my hair with herbal essences paint the town red and then maintain/build the redness by mixing in Splat luscious raspberry temp dye with my conditioner when i wash....

so ends this batch of updates... i'm off to rip random philosophizing from myspace to post here. be back shortly....

photo time grins

2008-02-04T04:30:09Z

hehe how awesome is this pic? I got this dont fuck with me come hither look going on....

and all I can hear in the background is head like a hole by NIN

"Bow down before the one you serve You're going to get what you deserve"

visual ramblings

2008-01-13T18:25:28Z

As you may or may not know I am a Jersey girl Painter chickie...I would love to make a living off my skills but I dont know how that's gonna work out for me I am 95% self taught I never made it to art school because I have a big mouth that got my tushy failed in highschool....I work in a variety of styles and many mediums with subjects to varied to count but I am trying to fous on pinups as they are my fave thing to do and well not to sound conceited but I think I'm pretty good at them...I am now whoring my art on a variety of websites that i play on and decided to share some of my pinup girls with you here...please lemme know what you think I need feedback to help improve and I want honest opinions you think it's crap tell me, I intend to put prints up for sale and I'd like to know if this will be mildly successful or a complete failure/embarrassment
xoxo
Painter chickie

she is the first pinup girl I ever created

gotta love 60 degree weather in January

2008-01-07T22:42:26Z

I was sitting outside sketching got bored and snapped a couple pics of myself

I IS A PALE LIL PAINTER CHICKIE

PURPLE HAIR (kinda shows up lol)

BORED (but still oh so cute)

sheds a tear

2008-01-04T04:21:14Z

So,
someone....
anyone...
I could use some guidance here....
I am at a loss for words. for thoughts. for feelings...
I have no idea what i should do...
I just found out my friend's dad died....
well, Chris was more than a friend actually, there are no words for what we were....he was my muse for a few years....But shit happens and people drift and we drifted and we got together again...I haven't seen or talked to him in a really long time, I've been trying to figure out how to get in touch with him again, but he seemed to pull a disappearing act. and then this happened...
i dont know what to do, I mean i loved Chris but we had a strange relationship we had a way of not only pushing each other to new heights but also pushing each other's buttons
So a major part of me wants to find him and give my condolences but the rest of me is saying stay away... I am tending to listen to the stay away part because i dont know how our first get together will go down....
so again
someone.
anyone
I could really use some guidance here..

merry christmas peoples

2007-12-25T06:05:44Z

This is by far the greatest Christmas song in the world
It was done by Eddie Lawrence in the late 1950’s or early 60’s and it’s damn near impossible to find…I got it from the wonderful peoples at 93.3 WMMR (bestest local radio station)
for your Christmas enjoyment the jagwa song

What do you want for Christmas lil boy?
I wanna I want a automobile
Tin sedan?
I, I want a jagwa
You’re too young to drive a jagwa

How about an ewephant?
You want an Indian elephant?
I got da Indian ewephant
You want an African elephant?
I got da African ewephant
What kind of an elephant do you want?
a jagwa

How bout a nice Hi-Fi set?
I got da Hi-Fi set
How old are you?
Four

How bout a stereo set?
I got a stereo
How bout a typewriter?
I got a typewhiter
I type while I listen to the stereo. Do you think I’m a stereotype?

Four years old eh
An advanced four
Do you paint?
I got a one man show in my nursery
Oils?
Mosaics
Four years old eh

You got a girl?
I am a girl
You got a boyfriend?
Sevwel

Have they got a jagwa?
One has a mac twuck
Would you like a mac twuck?
I wanna jagwa twuck
Jagwa doesn’t make a twuck
I want a jag

Four years old eh
Four and a half
You have a drivers license?
Sevwel

How bout an astronaut kit
What’s inside?
An oxygen mask, a heavy suit, 6 months rations and a social security card

what’s in the wations?
Cheese, powdered eggs, bacon, saint Bernard dog and a bottle of brandy
You puttin’ me on aintcha
Four years old eh

How bout a DC-7?
I got a DC-7
Wise kid, eh

Never mind the comments I’ll get my mommy to have you fired she does all her shopping here
I oughtta break your neck you little brat
I also have a bwack belt in judo

Look kid, there are 50 other tots who want to see santa
Let ‘em wait I was here foist
My knee is falling asleep
So’s my earlobes

You know something I don’t believe you’re four yrs old
You know something I don’t believe you’re santy cwas
You gonna tell the boss?
Not if you give me that jag
Ok you win

Hey sid
-yeah
one jagwa
-one jagwa coming up
here ya are kid
*growling and snarling*
help help mommy mommy help mommy
HO HO HO next

who wants to help the cute chickie fulfill her new found dream?!

2007-12-15T21:14:33Z

i need insurance so i can practically destroy my body on rollerskates!
sooo, who's gonna help me?
here's the story so far:

A couple weeks ago my awesomest of awesome friend Lisa said I should go rollerskating with her and a few other peoples, her way of getting me to meet this awesome guy Matt LOL. I havent been roller skating since I was like 7 and that was for a friend's birthday party SOOO i said frig no you crazy?!
Couple days ago I got an invite to check out this Roller Derby league....It's a new league and alot of the chicks have either never skated or not skated in years so it's a level playing field, but only catch is you have to have up to date medical insurance and I totally get that BUT i am a poor lil chickie who's been insurance free since '04 not really something to be proud of but i manage well enough...Just funny as sin that the reason i now want to get medical insurance is not to stay all healthy it's cuz i wanna get all effed up playing roller derby.
I thinks I'd make a really cute derby girl not to mention I'd get a kickass nickname and shit.
That settles it this girlie's next mission is to get some insurance and relearn to skate sometime very soon next year I will be a derby girl
*skates away*....make it like 2 feet then fall flat on my ass...lil kids point and laugh
*sigh* I never said it was gonna be easy